The thing about knitting is it’s much harder to fear the existential futility of all your actions while you’re doing it.
Like ok, sure, sometimes it’s hard to believe you’ve made any positive impact on the world. But it’s pretty easy to believe you’ve made a sock. Look at it. There it is. Put it on, now your foot’s warm.
Checkmate, nihilism.
This is a powerful positive message..
I’m literally reading a book right now (Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski) that says this is scientifically sound.
There have been studies done on rats and dogs where they develop learned helplessness in the animals by giving them impossible tasks. Eventually the animals stop trying, even when the task stops being impossible. (I.e. put a rat in a maze with cheese it can’t get to until it develops learned helplessness, then put the cheese somewhere it can get to it and it won’t even try.) But once they show the animals they CAN do something - i.e. physically moving the rat to the cheese - the learned helplessness goes away.
No one can move you to your cheese for you, but the book says DOING something - which they define as “anything that isn’t nothing” can help. Make a food. Work in the garden. Clean a thing. Do a favor for a friend. Call your elected officials.
Knit a sock.
If you feel overwhelmed by existential despair, do something. It doesn’t have to be big. It just has to be anything that isn’t nothing.
When I talk about “anxiety knitting,” I’m generally not joking. It does all of the things folks are discussing above, it’s a soothingly repetitive tactile stim, and I can pretty much customize how much attention to detail it requires by project.
I was a little late to the Hozier party. I mean I loved Take Me To Church and I laughed at the dark forest prince memes and I even reblogged them, but I figured it was all kind of a tumblr exaggeration.
Then I listened to his album, wherein he sings about:
decomposing in a field with his love and getting eaten by foxes
being dug out of the dirt by his love, who he implores to kiss him “like real people do”, implying that neither of them are real people
observing the world as an outsider (“happy to lie back, watch it burn and rust; we tried the world, good god it wasn’t for us”)
rising from his grave to crawl home to his love
“the bog man”
and I realized, no, he’s just Like That.
are you telling me all of those are real songs and not just aesthetics tumblr made up
Listen, I didn’t believe it either, but that’s absolutely what I’m telling you.
Can confirm, those are all actual Hozier songs.
We have now added:
Someday I’m going to be a small carnivorous bird and impale my prey on your thorns, which I’m into.
I would like to be a tree so you can chop me down and set your enemies on fire with me.
Have your heard of our lady and savior Mavis Staples?
I noticed that this amazing project is making the rounds again … it’s so worth re-sharing … again and again, “How About an Anatomically Correct Woolly Brain? Dr. Karen Norberg Says Yes!” 👉 https://wp.me/pjlln-1XT 🧠
if you call someone to witness and they refused to show up, you are legally entitled to stand outside their house and scream, but only every third day
you can sell your son into slavery once or twice, but after the third time he doesn’t have to put up with that shit anymore
no wailing allowed at funerals
also you can only have ONE funeral per person, don’t get greedy
if your neighbor’s tree has a branch hanging into your yard, you can legally cut down the entire fucking tree
however, if some of your neighbor’s fruit from his dumb tree falls into your yard, he can legally come into your yard to snoop around get it
if you call someone to witness and they’re too sick or old to get to court themselves, you have to provide a cart for them to come in, but it doesn’t have to be, like, a nice cart if you don’t want it to
they are indeed real! they’re from the twelve tables, a roman law text so old that it’s hard for even people who are well-versed in latin to read by the text is archaic (also half of it is missing but whatever)
while we’re on the subject, here are some more good ones that i forgot to put in:
the penalty for writing a song slandering someone (it’s very specific on the song bit) is getting clubbed to death
if you hurt someone (or if you just sort of inconvenience them) through magic arts, the penalty for that is also death
however if you maim someone’s limb through normal limb-maiming processes you just sort of have to figure things out between yourselves
if there’s a road right next to your property, feel free to build a fence around it to prevent people from driving into it, but if you don’t build your own fence then tough shit
if you waste all your money you can legally be prevented from wasting even more of your money
if you’re a woman and you live with a man for a year, that technically makes you married, unless you spend three successive nights at somewhere other than his house, in which case you’re not married i guess
ok so i know that when we were all young fanchildren we all watched this movie and sighed dreamily. but i am here to tell u that this movie is even better than u remember
1. the main conflict in the movie is the arranged marriage. i’m gonna stop right here, because princesses in arranged marriages are a classic fanfiction trope that we are all trash for. don’t lie to yourself. but it gets BETTER. not only is there an arranged marriage… the guy she’s arranged to marry is actually a really chill dude. u like this dude. u know they would be good friends and partners. he would make a good king. but sHE DOESNT LOVE HIM!!! she doesn’t love him. and it would be so easy for the narrative to say ~oh look at this selfish girl she has a handsome titled good man ready to marry her she’s so SELFISH for wanting passion and true love, so naive~ (see fuckboys: i’m so nice and handsome why doesn’t she love me she’s horrible) instead the narrative presents her not marrying him as a perfectly valid choice and one the viewer sides with her on. the narrative supports her choice and makes it clear it was the right decision. ADDITIONALLY, the solution presented to fix the arranged marriage problem is to DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY. like???? don’t fuck with me this movie is perfect
2. literally the other main conflict is the love interest. he’s essentially a conman trying to convince mia to fall passionately in love with him so he can steal the throne. but along the way… he falls in love with her. THIS IS LITERALLY THE PLOT OF THREE THOUSAND FANFICTIONS PEOPLE
3. speaking of fanfiction…this movie is one. like, i’m not even joking. the first princess diaries movie essentially compiled the first 3 books into a movie, but the sequel wasn’t based on the books at all. disney just pulled something out of their asses and was like “this will make the fangirls happy”
4. at the beginning of the movie mia graduates from princeton’s woodrow wilson school of international affairs… literally one of the best international studies programs on the planet.. then she’s flown to a castle…where she’s a princess..and has hot men falling all over her…and wears ballgowns…like…mia is such a mary sue but somehow the movie manages to avoid making her one AT ALL
5. also holy shit??! mia doesn’t just stand around looking pretty as a princess.. she’s clearly really smart and genuinely cares about the people of genovia and does her best to serve them well even to it’s hard work… like damn mia is fucking committed to being a good queen she’s not just a princess because castles make good backdrops for romances
6. the queen/joe YAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS u fucking know u shipped that shit
7. THE ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT FUCKING THE PATRIARCHY. MIA IS PORTRAYED AS KIND AND SENSITIVE BUT THAT ADDS TO HER APPEAL AS A RULER NOT DETRACTS FROM IT. AT THE END OF THE MOVIE SHE’S LIKE “fuck these rules written by old white men, i’m gonna make my own less sexist rules” AND THEN SHE FUCKING DOES?!? SHE FUCKING CALLS OUT THE SEXISM OF THE LAWS AND THEN CHANGES THEM. HELLO WOMEN IN PARLIAMENT! GOODBYE BOYS CLUBS! A WOMAN IS FULLY CAPABLE OF RULING ON HER OWN WITHOUT A MAN AND SHE FUCKING DRILLS THAT INTO THEIR GODDAMN HEADS
8. chris pine. what a hot piece of ass amiright
9. the number of times something fucking bizarre happens to mia and she theoretically looks into the camera like she’s on the office is comedic gold honestly. the maids?? flirting with her arranged husband?? climbing out a window?? the fAKE LEG!? mia is just trying to live her life but the universe keeps fucking it up. i feel u mia.
in sum i have n o idea how the fuck this movie got made but goddamn is it not god’s gift to man
You forgot:
10. It’s women working together that foil the plot. Uncle Gimli’s maid is the one who tells Chris Pine that his uncle sabotaged the romantic night out in order to discredit Mia, aka the love of his life. The last we see of her is her eating pear-flavored popcorn with her feet up.
11. Also the arranged fiance, when she dumps him AT THE ALTAR, he THANKS HER for saving him from just doing his duty and not actually living his own life.
12. Lily. Everything about Lily. “Should I shoo him or should I shoo him? Tell me who to shoo and I’ll shoo.” “My hello is insignificant. Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, come with me.”
Julie Andrews mattress-surfing.
Also this was the first time Julie Andrews sang post-surgery, when she didn’t think she’d ever since again, and the director was all “Okay, we have to get this in one take, because the actors will be emotional” but the crew TOTALLY LOST IT and still managed to get it in one take, even though apparently as soon as she started, it was just TEARS EVERYWHERE.
Also, I was reminded by Twitter that the screenplay was written by…
Moving tip: the first thing you should bring into the new house is a roll of toilet paper. The second thing is drinking glasses or water bottles. The third thing is curtains or blinds. Then everything else.
Nope, router first. Otherwise agreed.
Router last. Otherwise this happens:
I’m on my 11th house in 23 years and here’s what should be in your “first” box:
Toilet roll,
Kettle,
Tea/coffee,
Mugs (enough for the number of people helping you to move),
A bottle opener (wine or beer at your discretion)
Disposable plates and cutlery (because the last thing you want to do once you’ve unpacked is wash up)
This was the system perfected by my parents who’ve lived in about 40 houses between them.
ADDITION:
When you get to your new place send someone out for milk for the teas and coffees also maybe biscuits.
Order takeaway your first night. I’m told in America the traditional moving dinner is pizza. We’ve always had a Chinese.
First Box: keep this box handy, pack it while you’re packing and put it in the truck LAST, or up in the front with you so you can get to it right away:
TP and toilet plunger. Hopefully you won’t need the plunger on the first night but it’d be AWFUL to have to look for it in case of emergency.
kette/coffee maker and necessary hot beverage supplies. Including Mugs. Caffeination is Key.
Your fave pan and spatula. You have one. You won’t use it the first night but I promise that you will NOT be done unpacking the kitchen stuff before you’re sick of takeout.
Duct Tape
Batteries
Cleaning supplies- paper towels, all-purpose cleaner, duster- houses get gross when left alone
Router, becuase we’re millenials and we’re going to be googling how to fix/turn on and assemble everything.
Enough bedding to cover your mattress while you sleep on it for the first few nights.
cell phone/laptop chargers
change of clothes, maybe two
If you have some kind of water filter that also fits in this box, bring that.
PURCHASE, FIRST NIGHT:
When you’re getting takeout, get the disposable plates/flatware/cups. Also get takeout sooner rather than later so you don’t collapse of hypoglycemia in the middle of unloading boxes like me, a moron.
I personally reccomend chinese.
If you’ve moved to an area where it’s not safe to drink the tap water unflitered and you’re a dummy like me that forgot to put your filter in the First Box, get enough bottled water to stay hydrated until you can get your filter set up.
milk, eggs, your preferred cooking fat, other meal/pantry staples.
Something fun like cookies or booze. You’ve had a tough day.
If you forgot the TP/batteries/duct tape/cleaning supplies, get those.
To Do Upon Arrival, even before unpacking:
Get there about an hour before the moving truck and do the following:
Re-check all the lights/taps/toilet/appliances/AC/Heater. Things might have happened and you’ll want to call the repair guy ASAP if something needs fixing.
Introduce yourself to your neighbors if they’re home. This will help prevent things like parking issues or noise complaints, there’s a good chance they’ll actually help, and if you’re REALLY lucky they’ll cook and you don’t have to get takeout.
Also if you do need to call a repair guy they probably know someone.
clean up any obvious messes before they get blocked by boxes.
Hydrate and have a snack before lifting.
DO NOT ATTEMPT ON DAY 1
Keep all pets and probably young children contained/boarded/at a friend or relative’s house until all the boxes and furniture is inside to prevent escape.
Hell, you’re probably exhausted. Leave them with grandma overnight.
Do Not Attempt to assemble disassembled furniture on day one. you will do it wrong and possibly slice your hand open with the allen wrench somehow and have to go to the urgent care
try not to go to the urgent care in general.
Don’t bother answering any email, texts, voicemails or nonemergency forms of communication. you’re busy. Possibly you are busy eating chinese and crying, but you are busy.
Exercise. you already did a ton of heavy lifting and cardio. don’t go jogging and pass out in an unfamiliar neighborhood.
Reccomended:
If you own the place or feel confident enough in your spackle and paint abilities to get your damage deposit back, put a nail in a wall and hang something up. It’s your space now.
If you don’t, hang something up with blue tac anyway. Still your space.
